Moving to a new city is a weird experience.
In theory, it’s exciting, new skyline, new cafés, new strangers who might become friends.
But in reality?
You end up staring at Google Maps like it personally betrayed you, because somehow every place here has the same beige aesthetic, the same influencer-style almond latte, and the same “this city is so authentic” people who all look like they auditioned for the same commercial.
You’re in a new (fake) city, the kind where:
- Everyone jogs at 6 AM because apparently sleep is optional here.
- Every café has three neon signs saying “Good Vibes Only,” which means zero good vibes actually exist.
- Every group looks like they’re filming a vlog, even though no camera is present.
- And somehow, everyone already has a full friend circle, a pottery class group chat, a climbing club, a digital detox circle, AND a brunch squad.
But you?
You’re standing there like:
“Hi… I would like one (1) real friend please.”
Welcome to adulthood.
Let’s fix that.
Below are practical ways to make actual, non-plastic, non-curated friends — told through the lens of someone who has tried everything, including panic-laughing during introductions.
Stop Searching for “The Group” — Start Looking for “The Person”
Most people think they’ll magically find a 6-person squad who instantly adopts them like a stray Pokémon.
No.
Friendships don’t work like Marvel casting.
Real connections usually start with one person — the one who laughs at the same wrong moment you do, or who looks equally lost at an event.
Look for:
- The person hovering near the snack table
- The one who said “same” under their breath
- The one who also forgot everyone’s name within 12 seconds
Start there. That’s your person.
Join Stuff That Doesn’t Require Personality on Day One
Nobody wants to walk into a room of strangers and “be themselves.”
What self?
The confused version? The tired version? The “why did I come here” version?
So choose activities where the activity does the heavy lifting, not your social skills.
Examples:
- Walking meetups (you can talk… or pretend to look at trees)
- Art classes (you can bond over how crooked your drawing is)
- Book clubs (you only talk every few minutes)
- Community workouts (everyone’s too tired to be awkward)
People naturally talk when they’re doing something together. It’s like cheating, but for friendship.
Start Conversations With Observations, Not Introductions
Introductions are boring:
“Hi, I’m ___, I moved here recently.”
“Cool.”
No personality. No spark. No friend potential.
Try observational openers — they feel human, not robotic:
- “Did we all accidentally dress the same today?”
- “I came for the snacks. Everything else is a bonus.”
- “Please tell me you also don’t know anyone here.”
People relax when they hear something real.
Attend Small Events, Not Big Ones
Large events = social overwhelm + you silently exiting at the 23-minute mark. Small events = someone will talk to you because they have no choice. Target events with:
- Less than 15 people
- A shared interest
- Something to do (crafts, food, games)
They’re safer, softer, and less intimidating. Also, nobody will judge you for eating three cookies.
Be a Regular Somewhere Yes, This Works
Friendships need repetition.
If you show up only once, nobody remembers. If you show up consistently, people eventually go:
“Oh hey, you again!”
And that small sentence feels like winning a Grammy. Become a regular at:
- A weekly meetup
- A group class
- A local hobby circle
- A Saturday market stall
- A community café (the one that’s not pretending to be from Pinterest)
Repetition builds familiarity. Familiarity builds comfort. Comfort builds friendship.
Don’t Wait to Be Invited — Create the Plans
This one is uncomfortable but powerful. Instead of waiting for someone to say, “We should hang out,” YOU initiate:
“Hey, I’m grabbing coffee after this — want to join?”
“We should check out that event together next week.”
“I’m thinking of hosting a tiny picnic, want in?”
People appreciate initiators because most adults are tired, shy, or emotionally loaded. Also: people WANT friends… they just don’t know how to start.
7. Use Social Squad to Filter Out the Fake Energy
Some events are full of curated, overly polished, influencer-style groups. You don’t want that. You want:
- Real people
- Real conversations
- Real energy
- Real fun
Social Squad helps you find the exact kind of people you vibe with — from “game night friends” to “late-night dessert friends” to “let’s pretend to be productive together” friends.
Instead of messaging 50 people individually, you create one clean, simple invite, share the link, and boom — your tiny new circle forms without chaos.
Think of it as a shortcut to meeting people who actually want to bond, not just pose for group photos.
8. Don’t Rush It — Real Friendships Are Slow-Burn
Everyone posts their completed friend circle online. No one posts the awkward months before it formed. In a new city, you might meet:
- 3 people you never meet again
- 2 people who felt promising but vanished
- 1 person who becomes your entire social universe
It takes time. But when it clicks, it’s worth every uncomfortable conversation.
Final Thought: You’re Not Behind. You’re Just New.
A new (fake) city can feel polished, overwhelming, and a little cold. But real friendships grow in the unpolished moments:
- shared laughter
- shared confusion
- shared “why is this so hard”
- shared tiny wins
You’re not behind.
You’re just at the beginning — and beginnings always feel weird.
Give it time.
Show up.
Be open.
And your Social Squad will find you.
